When it comes to viewpoints on Peter Jackson's version of The Lord Of The Rings, everyone's got one, even if they don't know what it is.

A team of leading psychologists have been working with Peter Jackson to profile the type of reactions he can expect to get from movie-goers and Tolkien fans alike. Using advanced psychometric software, these psychologists can determine which profile anyone fits into. For the first time, this software has been released to the public.

Simply read each question and then click on the response which is closest to your own. When you have completed all the questions, click on the button at the bottom to discover your psychological rating. (NB, if you return to this page using 'back' you will need to reselect each option again.)

 

 

When you heard that a new movie adaptation of The Lord Of The Rings was in production, what was your reaction?
Excellent! Is that like WWF or WCW? I hope The Rock is in it - he is kewl!.
I suppose I'd better read the book to see what all the fuss is about.
Oh my GOD!!! I've got to lie down!!! And have a drink!! I think I'm hyperventilating.
I don't like the sound of this at all.
A friend told you that Arwen's part in the movie might be slightly expanded from the books to increase the presence of women in the movie.
Arwen? Is that a chick? Does she get jiggy?
Good! I had heard that Tolkien's female characters were pretty secondary
Are they using the material from the Appendices? This is going to be fantastic.
I knew it. This is going to be a disaster.
What was your reaction to hearing that Tom Bombadil will not be in the movie?
Is that on the Playstation2 or the Dreamcast?
Wasn't he some kind of wacky nature spirit? I'm glad he's been cut.
Ohhh! Tom's one of my favourite characters. But it's hard to imagine how he could have been done properly. Oh well. It's inevitable that something would get cut and Tom is a clean lift.
WHAT! Bombadil is absolutely essential to the book as a comment on the pacificist viewpoint! And where will the Hobbits get their swords? Of course this means that Arwen MUST kill the Witch King. I'm starting to feel sick
You hear the rumour that Saruman will die after being impaled on a spiked wheel in Orthanc. What is your first response?
KEWL! Who's Saruman?
Ugh! Sounds like a typical gory Hollywood death for a bad guy.
I'm not sure I'm going to like this. What about the scouring of the shire? Are you sure this is true?
[Splutters incoherently] Peter Jackson is raping this book! THIS IS GOING TO BE A TRAVESTY!
What is your reaction to this picture?

The Armies of the West at the Black Gate (copyright New Line Pictures 2001)
The Armies of the West at the Black Gate
Is that from the episode of Xena where Joxer turns into a pigeon?
It certainly looks very impressive. I am quite looking forward to this movie.
OH MY GOD! That is fantastic! The armour is not quite right but what a picture!
Pathetic. Has Peter Jackson even read the books? And what the hell are those banners supposed to be?
What part of Tolkien's magnum opus are you most looking forward to seeing on screen?
Who's what?
I want to get a sense of the scope and majesty of the books.
Ohh! I really couldn't pick one favourite bit - there are so many!
All of it, obviously with no omissions or changes at all. On second thoughts, none of it. Making a movie of this book is tantamount to heresy and doomed to utter and abject failure.
How do you feel about the fact that Gollum is going to be a computer generated character?
What like Jar Jar Binks!?!?! That will so SUCK!
I have to confess that I have my doubts about CGI characters but let's just hope Peter Jackson's effects people can produce something special.
OK - I don't mind as long as it looks good. Is Peter Woodthorpe providing the voice? Oh please!??!?!?
How much worse can this get? Gollum is supposed to be a Hobbit, not a Gungan! Surely any actor would jump at the chance to play Gollum, even if it meant living on 400 calories a day for six months to get the right physique? And what does Jackson give us? Some kind of bloody dinosaur or a lizard or something. This is sickening.
Will you be going to see the movie?
Uh. Is it as good as Tomb Raider?
Yes, if it is half as good as the books we should be in for a treat.
Are you serious?  Wild horses couldn't keep me away!! I am actually accessing this web page using my laptop whilst I wait in the queue dressed as Legolas.  Only 1 more month to go.  I hope I don't end up sitting behind that guy dressed as Treebeard.
Are you serious?  I wouldn't waste my money on this half-baked, satanic travesty of a movie.  I shall however be conducting a protest outside my local multiplex.  I am also planning to burn down Peter Jackson's studios in an attempt to destroy all existing prints of the movie before they can be released into circulation and utterly destroy the life's work of J.R.R. Tolkien, a saintly man and the world's greatest author.

 

Once you have selected the appropriate responses, click here to discover whether you are a purist or a revisionist.

 

 

This software copyright Tim McNulty, 2001. No unauthorised use without permission.



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